How To Win Friends and Influence People – Book Review
Published back in the 1937s, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” still remains a must read in order to improve your social skills and day-to-day communication with people.
Carnegie’s methods of winning friends and becoming a better person had a huge effect even on the 2nd richest man in the world, Warren Buffett whose net worth is about $74.1B according to Wikipedia.
Warren Buffett still has his certificate of completing the “Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking, Leadership Training, and the Art of Winning Friends and Influencing people” from 23rd of January, 1952 hanged on his office’s wall.
If I hadn’t had done that, my whole life would have been different.
He admitted that his life would be different if Dale Carnegie’s books hadn’t been part of his life from the early age of 15.
No wonder why the book has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide and was listed as one of the 100 most influential books in 2011 by the Time Magazine.
What makes the book so special though? Why are there rumours everywhere that every person who wants to improve his or her people skills should read it?
Some even say that the book is even better than some of the most famous Ted talks like “How great leaders inspire action” from Simon Sinek or “Why do we do that” from one of the most famous American businessman, Tony Robbins.
To start with, the book is split into four big sections: “Fundamental Techniques in Handling People”, “Six Ways to Make People Like You”; “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”, and “Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment”.
It includes rules of interaction which may seem simple at first such as “Smile”, but using them on a regular basis is not as straightforward as it sounds.
Some rules suggest to always use someone’s name when talking to them especially for the first time, other to make the other person feel important and always listen to what they are saying before answering or even to always stay enthusiastic and never let opportunities to make a new friend pass by as you never know how they can change your life for the better.
The book still feels alive especially to the digital era we are currently part of, even if it was originally aimed at the rising middle classes of the 1930s and 1940s.
It is all alive and well. It is still with us today.
Marc Hoag, chief executive of Venturocket
We decided to talk about the main lessons from the book which would make you a more influential, persuasive and better person.
If you prefer visualizing them, then you should check out our infographic which includes some quick tips of the journey to improve your personal life.
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
As we all know, criticizing others doesn’t produce any positive outcomes no matter what.
People aren’t machines who follow logical routines.
We are dealing with creatures of emotion, who like to hear good things to boost their ego or live life with pride.
Nobody would even bother listening to you even if you think that a loud voice would change something.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Which one of you hasn’t felt proud when they were feeling appreciated last time?
The answer is probably, as you may have guessed, nobody.
People may be obsessed with different things such as cars, houses, women, money or sex, but one thing would always remain the most influential aspect of their lifes, the desire to be important and feel like you are making a difference.
Most of the times we only think of our goals and how we can reach them ASAP, but we always forget that this is not the right way to get things done.
We always have to get the other person’s point of views and try to see things from their perspective as well.
..the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it
Try it and you will see how you will achieve your goals way easier than you have ever imagined!
When was the last time you smiled today?
Did you smile on your way home from work/school to random people from the street?
Our smiles are worth a milion bucks, but yet, we don’t do this too often.
And it’s free!
Encourage people to talk about themselves.
Ask somebody to talk about himself/herself next time you meet that person and you will see that the conversation would last for ages.
Let’s be honest with ourselves!
We all like talking about us and share our experiences with others.
Try this next time you meet somebody, even your mum or wife/husband, and you will see the effects!
Admit your mistakes.
Arghhh, this is a hard one, isn’t it?
The best leaders don’t hide themselves from the truth.
It’s normal to make mistakes.
We are all humans in the end, not machines.
Admitting one’s own mistakes — even when one hasn’t corrected them — can help convince somebody to change his behaviorDale Carnegie
Never try winning an argument.
Now think for a moment of the last time you argued with somebody and convince that person that you are right.
Did you win it?
There are 80% chances that you probably haven’t.
What do you achieve if you win an argument?
If you really want to persuade somebody, then you should avoid arguing from the first moment.
Make the other person feel important.
Just think for a second when you were praised in school or at work for achieving great results in front of your colleagues.
It felt good, right?
Don’t say good things about a person just to get something out in return.
Do it honestly. Show the other person your honest appreciation and he/she would love you!
Listen first, talk after.
Let me tell you something.
As easy as it may sound, 90% of the people don’t actually do this!
Most of the persons think of their response during a conversation before even the other person stops talking. We listen to reply, not to actually communicate something.
In this way, nobody achieves anything and it’s just another redundant conversation between human beings without any positive outcome.
Always remember the other person’s name.
If you don’t do this already, you are probably headed for trouble!
Bad at names?
We all are!
Try associating people with events or before going at a conference or due with your colleagues, check their profile on social media!
We are all experts at stalking people so go and do it!
What are you waiting for?